crazy world of parenting

Unleash Evil Mommy

This weekends the girls had a screaming match over a sheet. The youngest was using a sheet to make a tent. The oldest HAD to use that one and only sheet to make her bed. Screaming. Door slamming. More screaming. “I hate you!” flew out of their mouths.

Because of a sheet. To be clear, we own more than one sheet.

This has been an on going theme around here lately. The two of them fight over something, anything and it’s world war three. It’s stupid and petty.

What’s this frustrated mom to do? Because taking away Kindles and the beloved cell phone has not been working. Grounding isn’t working. Reasoning is working. Who am I kidding? Reasoning and kids don’t exactly go together. I don’t care what Love and Logic says.

Unleash Evil Mommy: Make the kids close their eyes and imagine their sister died today. She’s in the casket, dead. (Oh, she went there.)

Now, do you really want the last thing your dead sister heard you say was “I hate you”?

Uh, I didn’t think so.

Today you can say “I am sorry” for the hurtful things you said but tomorrow may be too late. Also, you can only say hurtful things to someone so many times before they stop believing “I am sorry.”

After they stop crying from that haunting image of death, Evil Mommy made them write five things they love, like, or find fun about their sister. Then, they read the list to each other and hugged it out.

It is possible they will need therapy.

image

This is them 30 minutes later sharing nachos; and they were extra nice to each other all day.

I am not proud I pulled out Evil Mommy, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to stop the fighting and make them understand the consequences of their hurtful words. 

By the way, both girls went further with the “assignment” and drew pictures for each other to hang on their bedroom walls. Alex even told me this was a good reminder that her little sister does have some good qualities that she sometimes forgets.

That sounds like a success to me. Until next time…

*******

Dancing in the rain

Parker is dancing in the rain. On her surfboard, of course.

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 Colorado flood update: Many communities in Colorado are still battling flood waters. Basically we got more rain in four days than we do in one year! Our family is in a little pocket that has not seen flooding but other communities close by are not as fortunate. How devastating to have to evacuate at a moments notice because if rising waters. To come home to a basement full of water and mud. Not having flood insurance because this is was a storm that comes along every 100 years.

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Life | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Not another sport…

Alex had a figure skating competition last weekend. She placed 4th. Not bad. She doesn’t want to compete any more this year. Even though one of her goals was to compete at Regionals in October.

Because she is obsessed with gymnastics.

Not another sport…

She took a gymnastics day camp this summer and loved it. She won’t give up ice skating; that is in her blood. But she wants to do both.

A few questions/concerns come to mind: Will performing in two sports over-schedule her? Should we foster her love of sports even if it means less down-time for everyone? Is it okay to switch goals mid-season?

Look at that smile. She loves it. She was moved up to Team Level 3 this week.

I am sure her cousin, Shelby could give her some pointers!

A big finish

Parker has already decided to give her skating lessons a rest and try gymnastics too. She says skating is “boring”. She has always been easily distracted. Like the time she said she was going to run off to join the circus. I think Parker could really love gymnastics. She is always flipping of my furniture, the swing set in the backyard, or anything she can. I wonder if Shawn Johnson’s mom told her to “stop it!” twenty times a day?

A shout out to my nephew, Chance! He broke his foot last week running track. And, people say gymnastics and ice skating is dangerous. I hope you get your cast off before your birthday, and are out there running soon! At least you didn’t break your foot doing something stupid. That would have been embarrassing. And who knows, maybe you’ll get some sympathy from a cute girl and she’ll carry your books for you.

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Whatever happened to good ‘ol fashioned book reports?

WARNING: I just need to vent.

I just want to know when it happened that 4th graders are expected to do so much homework (a.k.a. busy work)?

My 4th grade is reading the novel Robin Hood and His Merry Men. She brought home a packet of fill-in-the-blank worksheets and crossword puzzles. After an hour and a half of me helping her, we still could not finish the assignments. I even read the 3 chapters that referenced these puzzles…and, apparently, I am not smarter than a 4th grade teacher.

The night ended with her frustrated because we couldn’t finish, and me “Googling” for the answers (or any word that would fit in the crossword space).

So, I have to ask, “Whatever happened to good ol’ fashioned book reports?”

Read the book. Write a report. Stand in front of the class and read it. Done. Simple.

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Oh, why is she in a hurry to grow up?

Ten years ago I almost gave birth in the hospital parking lot. Flashback to a few hours earlier that morning: I wasn’t even sure if I was in labor. I had to crack open my copy of “What to expect when you’re expecting” to check my symptoms. And check it again. Thankfully I made it into the hospital in time to start pushing before my doctor bothered to check in on me.

Back then I thought that a book would hold all the answers to raising this child. I threw the books out a long time ago when I realized that wasn’t the case. We are learning this together as we go along.

She couldn’t wait to be born into this world. I say that she has been impatient since the day she was born. In a hurry to be born and in a hurry to grow up. To me, she looks like she grew from 5 to 10 overnight!

Checkerboard Cake

She decorated her own cake. She also had a sleepover with 5 other girls. Of course, there was girl drama. There always is. Three of the girls made my little girl cry. The specifics don’t matter. The fact is, they were saying mean words.

Whoever said, “Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me.” was never a girl.

I had to lay down the rules. “Girls, you need to remember we are a guest in our home. It is her birthday, so whatever mean things have been said, you better get up, and get in there and make it right. Now.” Yeah, I am pretty sure they don’t care for me much. But they did get up and move quickly and smooth it all out.

I am convinced of this: part of the reason girls think it is okay to show their “mean girl” side is because parents allow it. How many times have I witnessed this behavior in friends’ homes and they did nothing? Or, worse, they said something like, “work it out”. What does that even mean? How would an 8, 9 or 10-year-old know how to “work it out” if you, the parent, don’t show them? Or, if you appear to tolerate the behavior or don’t care that it is going on? They will think it is okay.

I don’t tolerate it in my home. If they had made another girl cry, which has happened on more than one occasion, I have handled it the same way. By letting them know that it is unacceptable.

I haven’t read a book on this subject either. We are figuring it out as I go along.

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Food, Kids parties, Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Today I…

Today I…

  • lost count as to how many times I turned off a light that was not in use: 10, 12, 20?
  • actually told someone to turn their light off in their bedroom or bathroom: 5 times
  • picked up towels on the bathroom floor: 4 times
  • yelled at the girls to close the door, the air conditioner is on: 9 times
  • have said, “Pick your stuff up in the living room!”: 2 times; the other 3 times I just did it myself
  • have told someone to bring their “indoor toys” inside from the sandbox: 2 times
  • have told the girls to stop flipping off the couch: 5 times
  • told someone to clean up the spilled water on the living room carpet or hardwood floor: 2 times
  • yelled, “Stop teasing your sister!”: 3 times
  • told the girls, “If you get hurt messing around, don’t come crying to me.”: 2 times; and they still came crying to me: 2 times

It’s no wonder I am so tired today!

The girls made a private beach in the sand pit

I don't want to see the water bill...at least they weren't fighting!

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My 4-year-old, the thief?

Yesterday was the first day of Pre-school for Parker. And it was the first day she became a thief!

My sweet, precious daughter smuggled a small teddy bear out of the school under her sundress…in her underwear!

So this reminds me of a story my mother fondly told of her childhood…

Mom’s twin sister, Bonnie, stole a candy bar and hid it in the seat cushion of the family car. She planned on retrieving it later on in the day.

Well, Bonnie thought my mom had beat her too it. She thought she had destroyed the evidence by eating the chocolate bar. Mom insisted she wasn’t the one who ate the candy car. It wasn’t until years later they found out who really ate the candy bar…it was their older sister Marylin!

Some say every child tries to steal something at one point. They test. If they are lucky, like Parker, they get caught and learn a very valuable lesson. We talked about how you shouldn’t take things that don’t belong to you and how we were going to make it right. And she did. This morning she took the teddy bear into the classroom and told her teacher she was sorry for taking it. I didn’t have to steer her in the right direction.

This was a good parenting moment. Lately they have been few and far between. 

{Mom’s childhood story was updated thanks to my sister, Shannon. Apparently I hadn’t remember the story correctly. They say the mind is the first thing to go! Thanks ‘lil sis!}

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Life everyday | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

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