crazy world of parenting

Motherhood is tough.


MOTHERHOOD: It’s the hardest job in the world. It’s the most thankless job in the world. We are grossly underpaid. It’s the most important job we will ever have. There are no manuals to prepare us for it. Sure, there are books…a lot of books...but none are concise. So we are really left to just wing it. There are no sick days, paid vacations or promotions. We will be yelled at, have food flung at us, complained to, maybe hit or kicked, cried on, ran to, ran from, hugged, kissed, hated, puked on and loved, all at any given minute. And we say we wouldn’t change it for the world.

Or, would we?

First of all… I would get paid! Paid big time. I would get a paid vacation, preferably to a topical island sans kids. And for a minimum of 2 weeks, thank you. I would have a maid to keep the kids’ rooms clean. No more digging out an endless stream of dirty socks and candy wrappers from under their bed.

The only kind of wine in my house would be the red or pink kind. A healthy dinner would magically appear on the table before anyone had a chance to have a melt-down from hunger. And a meal that the kids would eat, without complaint.

And lastly, I would wear designer heels, meet my hubby at the front door, drink in hand, when he came home from a long day at work, because all would be perfect in the world.

{Sigh.} A girl can dream.

Check this out: 101 Tips to Become a Better Mom of Faith.

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Life | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Happy Monday

Okay, so someone ripped the wall hooks off Parker’s bedroom wall…her newly painted wall…damaged the wall! Parker wouldn’t fess up. She blamed it on Alex (who wasn’t even home at the time). So we sat down at the table for lunch and talked. I asked her, “What would Jesus say if I asked Him who ripped the hooks off the wall?”

Oh, yes, I went there.

Lucky for me the camera was sitting right there on the table–I caught this look.

I know she was thinking, “Oh, man. Jesus knows everything! I am so busted.”

She fessed up and I didn’t even need to get the interrogation lamps out. Thank you Jesus.

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Faith | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

all she wanted…

All she wanted for Christmas is a Zuca bag. I case you have a clue what a Zuca bag is…it’s a $150 bag to carry her $60 ice skate in, people! We can’t justify shelling out $150 on ONE gift. $150 is more than I would spent on her total for Christmas. So how do I justify it? Or better yet, where can I get it for cheap?

I placed and lost 2 bids on ebay.

Craigslist had 3 listings for a Zuca bag. One bag (for $90) was at a pawn shop and in terrible conditions (this guy is crazy asking $90). The second is in great condition, but it is brown with blue stars. She specifically said “No brown!”

The third listing has no picture. A quick email to the seller with an attachment of a Zuca bag gets me a response that it is “exactly like the picture” I sent, except it is lavender in color. And it is at the bargain price of $75. Perfect. But please send me a photo to verify, I ask the seller.

What seemed to be a simple request turned into frustration. After repeated emails verifying that the seller would send a photo and then not receiving the photos I gave up. Seven days. Seven days of waiting. Seven days of promises. I had resigned myself into paying retail for the bag. $150 people!

I hate paying retail.

Then, in my email box there is a picture of the bag. It is perfect.

all she wanted for Christmas...

She seemed a little disappointed that the bag was used. But hey, the skaters at the rink don’t know that, right? She sat on this thing all day long, watching tv and having a snack.

Today we are listening to the Dork Diaries on CD. Think Diary of a Wimpy Kid but for girls. The girl in the book is 14 years old and desperately trying to impress MacKenzie, the “it” girl in middle school. Oh, the memories this book brings back, being a certified dork myself. The girl is begging her parents to buy her an iPhone to impress MacKenzie and her band of fashionable minions. An iPhone. For a 14 year old. I just got a glimpse into my future. And I am complaining about the cost of a Zuca bag? {sigh.}

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big fat lies we tell our kids about Christmas

If you’re naughty, you won’t get any gifts. Big fat lie. Sure, Reindeers can fly. Big fat lie. There is a magical toy shop at the North Pole. Big fat lie. There really is a Santa Claus. Big fat lie.

Ah, it’s a time-honored tradition of lying to our kids. We fill their heads with the idea and wonder of Santa. We tell our kids not to lie, but we uphold this largely commercial lie. A conspiracy of sorts among adults to keep the lie alive. Faking it with presents under the tree labeled “from Santa”. Even going to great lengths to have Santa himself show up at our house for a Christmas party with friends. {Evidence pictured below.}

It’s also a conflict of interest. We teach our kids about Santa, filling their heads with this idea of being naughty or nice equals how many gifts they will get. Lead them to think that “he” knows all. In a way we instill early on the concept of “being good” equals “good things”. (We all know that not to be true.) Then we turn around and tell them that isn’t really the meaning of Christmas. How confusing that must be: Be nice and get lots of gifts, but the gifts aren’t really the point.

A part of me wishes I could go back in time and erase the idea of Santa from their heads. Told them the truth from the start. I know some day soon they will figure it out to be a lie. I am a big fat liar. Right now they still believe. And we continue the lie to uphold that belief. Sigh.

my oldest still won't talk to santa

my youngest couldn't wait to sit on santa's lap


Categories: Christmas, crazy world of parenting, Faith, family holiday, Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

don’t you just love halloween

Captain Fashionista

Here’s some shameless pictures of my beautiful kids: The weather was perfect this year. A light jacket was all we needed for trick-or-treating. After years of trick-or-treating in the snow we had to make the most of this glorious Colorado weather…because you know next year we won’t get so lucky!

After I showed Alex pictures of Cyndi Lauper she wanted to be an 80s girl. But then she changed her mind on Friday night to be a glam pirate. So we reworked the 80s costume into a pirate and I made a sword from cardboard and tin foil. Just call me Martha Stewart!

Parker was a ballet bunny rabbit. Easy costume. Just sew a cotton ball tail to a pink ballet outfit, add some pink bunny ears and viola you got yourself one very cute ballet bunny. Parker loved the trick-or-treating but once her bucket was almost full she called it a night. The rest of us kept going.

Pink Ballerina Bunny

The tail

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i accidentally turned my daughter into a drug dealer

Well, not exactly. Alex, who is in 3rd grade, had a cough; so I did what any self-respecting parent would do…I sent her to school with cough drops. Little did I know the trouble these little cough drops would cause.

I received a phone call from Alex’s school informing me that her cough drops had been confiscated. Apparently they are a controlled substance. Contraband. Drugs. Illegal. I needed to come down to the school to sign a medical waiver form for the “drugs”, then the nurse would keep the drops in her office. I was told this is district policy.

Alright then.

I had no idea that cough drops would be considered drugs. Are they afraid my daughter was going to become a dealer on the playground?

“Hey, kid. I got the cough drops. Berry flavor with vitamin C. It’ll cost you 3 silly bands.” Said in your best 8-year-old-drug-dealer voice.

Yeah. Did I missed the mark as a parent by underestimating the seriousness of just cough drops? So I pulled up Halls’ website. The active ingredient is 7mg of Pectin (okay, so that is a drug, even if it is low) and a lot of sugar.  But, other than the Pectin there was no information whatsoever on the addictive nature of cough drops. Whew! For a minute there I was afraid I might have to check my daughter into the same spa, I mean, rehab as Lindsay.

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Life everyday | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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