Posts Tagged With: kids fighting

Unleash Evil Mommy

This weekends the girls had a screaming match over a sheet. The youngest was using a sheet to make a tent. The oldest HAD to use that one and only sheet to make her bed. Screaming. Door slamming. More screaming. “I hate you!” flew out of their mouths.

Because of a sheet. To be clear, we own more than one sheet.

This has been an on going theme around here lately. The two of them fight over something, anything and it’s world war three. It’s stupid and petty.

What’s this frustrated mom to do? Because taking away Kindles and the beloved cell phone has not been working. Grounding isn’t working. Reasoning is working. Who am I kidding? Reasoning and kids don’t exactly go together. I don’t care what Love and Logic says.

Unleash Evil Mommy: Make the kids close their eyes and imagine their sister died today. She’s in the casket, dead. (Oh, she went there.)

Now, do you really want the last thing your dead sister heard you say was “I hate you”?

Uh, I didn’t think so.

Today you can say “I am sorry” for the hurtful things you said but tomorrow may be too late. Also, you can only say hurtful things to someone so many times before they stop believing “I am sorry.”

After they stop crying from that haunting image of death, Evil Mommy made them write five things they love, like, or find fun about their sister. Then, they read the list to each other and hugged it out.

It is possible they will need therapy.

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This is them 30 minutes later sharing nachos; and they were extra nice to each other all day.

I am not proud I pulled out Evil Mommy, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to stop the fighting and make them understand the consequences of their hurtful words. 

By the way, both girls went further with the “assignment” and drew pictures for each other to hang on their bedroom walls. Alex even told me this was a good reminder that her little sister does have some good qualities that she sometimes forgets.

That sounds like a success to me. Until next time…

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Dancing in the rain

Parker is dancing in the rain. On her surfboard, of course.

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 Colorado flood update: Many communities in Colorado are still battling flood waters. Basically we got more rain in four days than we do in one year! Our family is in a little pocket that has not seen flooding but other communities close by are not as fortunate. How devastating to have to evacuate at a moments notice because if rising waters. To come home to a basement full of water and mud. Not having flood insurance because this is was a storm that comes along every 100 years.

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Life | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

love and logic…keeping the peace

Last night was “back to school night” where Alex got to meet her 3rd grade teacher and get the low-down on the class rules. Parents got to hear the “rules and codes of conduct” of the school again, which is a good thing because I think there were parents who weren’t listening last year! Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Anyhoo, there was one thing the Principal said that made me sit up a little straighter: “The only two people who can resolve a conflict are the two people who have the conflict.” Whoa, that was like a light bulb went off over my head.

I feel as though I am always getting pulled kicking and screaming into the middle of the kids’ conflicts. The kids are fighting over something stupid, screaming at each other at the top of their lungs, one or both starts crying, and then…Moooooommm! Does that sound familiar in your house? Each child wants me to take their side of the argument. Most days I am so exhausted of being a referee, I feel like building a penalty box in my house! “5 minutes for interference!”

Our school subscribes heavily on the “Love and Logic” method.  Love and Logic principles rely on natural consequences for ones own actions. When a child understands that the consequences they’re experiencing were caused by their choices, they will learn to make better choices. Simply put, if a student doesn’t get enough sleep the night before a big spelling test and are too tired to remember how to spell the words, they learn that getting  a good night’s sleep helps them do better in class. For some, this concept may take a little longer to catch on.

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