Posts Tagged With: parenting

Unleash Evil Mommy

This weekends the girls had a screaming match over a sheet. The youngest was using a sheet to make a tent. The oldest HAD to use that one and only sheet to make her bed. Screaming. Door slamming. More screaming. “I hate you!” flew out of their mouths.

Because of a sheet. To be clear, we own more than one sheet.

This has been an on going theme around here lately. The two of them fight over something, anything and it’s world war three. It’s stupid and petty.

What’s this frustrated mom to do? Because taking away Kindles and the beloved cell phone has not been working. Grounding isn’t working. Reasoning is working. Who am I kidding? Reasoning and kids don’t exactly go together. I don’t care what Love and Logic says.

Unleash Evil Mommy: Make the kids close their eyes and imagine their sister died today. She’s in the casket, dead. (Oh, she went there.)

Now, do you really want the last thing your dead sister heard you say was “I hate you”?

Uh, I didn’t think so.

Today you can say “I am sorry” for the hurtful things you said but tomorrow may be too late. Also, you can only say hurtful things to someone so many times before they stop believing “I am sorry.”

After they stop crying from that haunting image of death, Evil Mommy made them write five things they love, like, or find fun about their sister. Then, they read the list to each other and hugged it out.

It is possible they will need therapy.


This is them 30 minutes later sharing nachos; and they were extra nice to each other all day.

I am not proud I pulled out Evil Mommy, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to stop the fighting and make them understand the consequences of their hurtful words. 

By the way, both girls went further with the “assignment” and drew pictures for each other to hang on their bedroom walls. Alex even told me this was a good reminder that her little sister does have some good qualities that she sometimes forgets.

That sounds like a success to me. Until next time…


Dancing in the rain

Parker is dancing in the rain. On her surfboard, of course.


 Colorado flood update: Many communities in Colorado are still battling flood waters. Basically we got more rain in four days than we do in one year! Our family is in a little pocket that has not seen flooding but other communities close by are not as fortunate. How devastating to have to evacuate at a moments notice because if rising waters. To come home to a basement full of water and mud. Not having flood insurance because this is was a storm that comes along every 100 years.

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Life | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

November Joy

november joyIn my email inbox was a post from Women Who Believe:

Joy.  Nehemiah 8:10 suggests that the “joy of the Lord is our strength”.  Strength is what we need to get us through these cold days of winter, with our lives often swinging back and forth between the brightness of sunshine and the dredge of those storms we know far too well.”

These women of faith are looking at November as a season of reflection and joy.

This got me thinking about “joy” and what it really means in my life.

But first I have to ask: What exactly is Joy?

Joy (v) to experience great pleasure or delight. [rejoice]

I am not one of those people who are happy and joyful all the time (you know the kind of people I am talking about). I envy those people because I have to search out joy. I need to actively look for it. I don’t walk around being a grouch either. But, sometimes it is hard to find true joy. Sometimes the “storms” in my head get in the way.

The other night the girls were play-wrestling around on the living room floor.

Oddly, this was pure joy to watch. This is not normal behavior. Normally, these two sisters are fighting; saying nasty and hurtful things to one another. That always breaks my heart.

But this night they were wrestling and giggling. They were laughing so hard they were almost crying. It was all play-wrestling. No one got hurt…until Daddy got involved in the playing. Then the joy was over.

It was a joy to watch my girls playing together and laughing the way sisters should.

So, what’s your joy? Keep your eyes open the month of November. You never know when you may experience pure joy.


To join in the November Joy conversation click over to Women Who Believe and A Holy Experience and the November Joy Dare.

Categories: Faith, Life | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Just this week…

…I had to console Alex, my 10-year-old, when she got her first bad hair cut. I don’t know what the “stylist” at Fantastic Sam’s was thinking. It’s just B-A-D!

…I had to say, “Stop licking your armpit!” at the dinner table. Never thought I would say that, ever! And, hubby was one of them. Eeewww…

…Parker lost her second tooth, then swallowed it. Fortunately, the tooth fairy doesn’t make us have “evidence” of the lost tooth. She’ll take our word for it.

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Oh, why is she in a hurry to grow up?

Ten years ago I almost gave birth in the hospital parking lot. Flashback to a few hours earlier that morning: I wasn’t even sure if I was in labor. I had to crack open my copy of “What to expect when you’re expecting” to check my symptoms. And check it again. Thankfully I made it into the hospital in time to start pushing before my doctor bothered to check in on me.

Back then I thought that a book would hold all the answers to raising this child. I threw the books out a long time ago when I realized that wasn’t the case. We are learning this together as we go along.

She couldn’t wait to be born into this world. I say that she has been impatient since the day she was born. In a hurry to be born and in a hurry to grow up. To me, she looks like she grew from 5 to 10 overnight!

Checkerboard Cake

She decorated her own cake. She also had a sleepover with 5 other girls. Of course, there was girl drama. There always is. Three of the girls made my little girl cry. The specifics don’t matter. The fact is, they were saying mean words.

Whoever said, “Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me.” was never a girl.

I had to lay down the rules. “Girls, you need to remember we are a guest in our home. It is her birthday, so whatever mean things have been said, you better get up, and get in there and make it right. Now.” Yeah, I am pretty sure they don’t care for me much. But they did get up and move quickly and smooth it all out.

I am convinced of this: part of the reason girls think it is okay to show their “mean girl” side is because parents allow it. How many times have I witnessed this behavior in friends’ homes and they did nothing? Or, worse, they said something like, “work it out”. What does that even mean? How would an 8, 9 or 10-year-old know how to “work it out” if you, the parent, don’t show them? Or, if you appear to tolerate the behavior or don’t care that it is going on? They will think it is okay.

I don’t tolerate it in my home. If they had made another girl cry, which has happened on more than one occasion, I have handled it the same way. By letting them know that it is unacceptable.

I haven’t read a book on this subject either. We are figuring it out as I go along.

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Food, Kids parties, Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My 4-year-old, the thief?

Yesterday was the first day of Pre-school for Parker. And it was the first day she became a thief!

My sweet, precious daughter smuggled a small teddy bear out of the school under her sundress…in her underwear!

So this reminds me of a story my mother fondly told of her childhood…

Mom’s twin sister, Bonnie, stole a candy bar and hid it in the seat cushion of the family car. She planned on retrieving it later on in the day.

Well, Bonnie thought my mom had beat her too it. She thought she had destroyed the evidence by eating the chocolate bar. Mom insisted she wasn’t the one who ate the candy car. It wasn’t until years later they found out who really ate the candy bar…it was their older sister Marylin!

Some say every child tries to steal something at one point. They test. If they are lucky, like Parker, they get caught and learn a very valuable lesson. We talked about how you shouldn’t take things that don’t belong to you and how we were going to make it right. And she did. This morning she took the teddy bear into the classroom and told her teacher she was sorry for taking it. I didn’t have to steer her in the right direction.

This was a good parenting moment. Lately they have been few and far between. 

{Mom’s childhood story was updated thanks to my sister, Shannon. Apparently I hadn’t remember the story correctly. They say the mind is the first thing to go! Thanks ‘lil sis!}

Categories: crazy world of parenting, Life everyday | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

How “other” mothers live.

Do you think about how the “other half” of mothers live? Not that other half…the wealthy-with-a-nanny-kind-of-mother. I am talking about the “other” mothers living around the world who are living in poverty, despair, daily fear, and anguish.

I do. I think about “other” moms around the world a lot.

Today, the other mother will watch her child suffer and will be powerless to stop it. Does she pray at night for the suffering to stop?

Are her prayers answered?

Today, the other mother, living in Somalia, makes the choice of leaving one of her weakest children behind to die because she has to keep walking to save her other five children from starvation. What hope does she have for her child’s future?

Today, literally thousands of children are dying daily in Somalia of hunger and their Mother’s can’t feed them. Food donated to aid organizations are being stolen and sold on the black market; never making it to these children.

Today, the other mother has a 3-year-old son who is working hard labor in a granite quarry in Nepal. Does she wish her son could “just be a kid”?

Today, the other mother lives in a home that is a shack in Kentucky. Her children sleep with blankets stacked high on the bed because they only have one wood stove to heat the whole house during the winter. Does she wish for her daughter to go to college?

Today, the other mother has a 9 year-old son who is an ex-child solider in the Ivory Coast. Is she proud of her child or does she cry herself to sleep at night?

Today, the other mother comforts a daughter who is gang raped as initiation into a street gang in Denver. Does she wish for her daughter to find a “good man”, get married and have a family of her own?

Today, the other mother, just a child herself, is raped by her father. Now pregnant, she is banished from her village, her family. She is lives on the streets. Desperate, she gives herself a botched abortion, then commits suicide.

Today, the other mother will be lured into selling her daughter for a better life in American. But what she may not know is she has sold her daughter as a sex slave to be raped and abused daily by her “owner”. She is powerless to do anything about it.

Today, the other mother is trapped in an abusive marriage. She is either physically or mentally abused, or both. Her children are beaten and/or molested by their father. She thinks she has no way out.

Today, the other mother is so desperate for a better life for her children she is willing to risk her and her child’s life being stuffed in the cargo hull of a boat just for the chance to get into this great country. Or, she pays her life savings to a man to sneak her across the border in a U-Haul truck, only to be caught by INS and sent back to her home country.

Why am I so lucky? Blessed? These mothers around the world aren’t so different from me.

There is no such thing as “other mothers”. We are all mothers. We have the same hopes, the same wishes, the same dreams, the same prayers. I think their prayers may be more desperate than mine, but they are still the same.

Ultimately we want the same things for our children.

We want our children to be safe. We want our children to grow up strong. We want our children to grow up, period. We want our children to be happy and healthy.

We blessed mothers must look out and help the other mothers. It’s not their problem, it’s our problem. Because mothers need to stuck together.


Lord, I pray for the other mother today. You have blessed me so, Lord, I ask that you bless and protect and guide her in time of need today. Shelter her, Lord. Walk with her today because she needs you so. In God’s name I pray. Amen.

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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